I had a moment of revelation recently, one that drove me into the pages of the Bible.
Don’t worry folks, this isn’t my “I found Jesus and renounced my heathen ways” post.
Not even close.
But I did find a Biblical prophecy that I feel certain is, even now, coming to pass.
And that’s kind of a big deal for me!
If you know me at all, or if you’ve so much as skimmed through any of my writing here, you have to know that I don’t put a lot of stock in the Bible, and even less in the so-called prophecies there-in.
That is not to say that I am unfamiliar with them.
I received many a heaping helping during my childhood in the Bible-Belt, and then later, as my interests turned toward the study of mythology in all its varied forms, I researched many of them on my own time.
And what I found, in almost every instance, was that Biblical prophecies are typically nothing of the sort. Instead, they usually turn out to be descriptions of events that had already transpired when they were written down.
That these passages have been reinterpreted as representative of future events has, I think, more to do with the apocalyptic mindset of a later generation of Christian readers, than the intent of those who chronicled the myth-historical origins of the Hebrew tribes.
The core belief of Christianity, after all, is that the end-times are imminent. Therefore, all prophecies must be happening in the now, the signs must be there, you only have to know where and how to look for them.
So imagine my surprise when I found one sitting there, out in the open where everyone can see it. And it’s one that I’ve never once seen it listed, or had spouted at me by someone trying to prove that the Bible was inspired by the mind of God.
All the others I’ve been able to discount. But this one, this one is just huge.
Let’s go through it.
Genesis Chapter 11:1-8
1 And the whole earth was of one language and of one speech.
2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.
3 And they said one to another: ‘Come, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly.’ And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar.
4 And they said: ‘Come, let us build us a city, and a tower, with its top in heaven, and let us make us a name; lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.’
5 And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
6 And the LORD said: ‘Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is what they begin to do; and now nothing will be withholden from them, which they purpose to do.
7 Come, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.’
8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth; and they left off to build the city.
Everyone knows this story, right? It’s the Tower of Babel, and what we are supposed to believe it that it explains why people all over the earth spoke different languages if they were all descended from the handful of folks that made it through the big flood on the Ark.
But let’s take a moment and look at it with an eye toward recent events.
- Suddenly there was this thing called the Internet, and everyone everywhere could talk and share ideas with each other.
- Suddenly, all the important stuff seemed to be happening in one place: On Line.
- Apparently, building stuff with bricks and mortar was some cutting edge technology back in the day, so imagine instead a world built of data, a marketplace of ideas.
- They built for themselves a city and a tower, and they called it Social-Media and Facebook.
- And then God got bored one day and logged in to see what the buzz was all about.
- There he found groups devoted to Yoga and Cosplay and something called GrumpyCat, and discovered, to his absolute horror, that everyone wasn’t talking about him. And when they did talk about him, it wasn’t always in the most complementary fashion. New ideas were the meat and drink of this strange new land, and the potential broadening of experience and understanding was the hope of the dawning age.
- At this point, he closed the shades on his house, took his phone off the hook, and started hacking a bunch of his followers’ user accounts (‘cause hiding your passwords from an omniscient deity is kind of a bitch). Once in, he started posting memes debunking climate science and claiming that president Obama is a Muslim. He was always ready with poorly edited PlannedParenthood videos, and made up statistics on a thousand topics. He started posting about “Keeping Christ in Christmas” before retailers were finished dumping all the unsold Easter candy, and whenever there was a shooting in a school he was johnny-on-the-spot to suggest handing out handguns like candy.
- Now this was stuff that no thinking person could believe, and yet they did, because they heard it repeated again and again from their friends and loved ones, and it was on the internet so it must be true. Right?! Fact-checking became something that only intellectual snobs with too much time on their hands bothered with. The traditional meanings of words like “fact” and “opinion” were switched, and pretty soon no one could communicate with anyone else, because all appearances to the contrary, not as single one of us is still speaking the same language.
It’s all right there in black and white!
And it has to be God doing it because no mortal could lay the bullshit down so think.
Errr…, maybe Trump.
There are those, I am sure, who will find these revelations offensive.
I understand that I seem to be reducing the almighty Abrahamic God to nothing more than a giant internet troll…, and if I am, isn’t that still better than taking a literal interpretation of the story, which has him (an omnipotent god) scrambling like crazy to muck up human language before the mortals figure out that by working together, there is nothing they cannot accomplish.
Nah, it has got to be the internet thing!
I found a Biblical prophecy that I can believe in.
Doesn’t mean I’ll be joining team Yahweh, of course. I mean, however you choose to interpret the story, it is not exactly what I would call a ringing endorsement. But it will definitely change the way I approach conversations on the internet.
A city and a tower with its top in heaven…,
It was a nice idea.